Building rapport

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the degree to which sales professionals build rapport with their customers and prosects. It’s becoming a lost art as we all, me included, strive to “save time,” or “get to the point” when cold calling and selling.

I’ve come to the conclusion that building rapport, contrary to others’ beliefs, doesn’t start with “you.” It starts with the other person. Let me put it this way. It starts with making your first interaction with others all about them and their interests and issues, not about you and your solutions. To me that means that, while certain things-to-do are important, it’s less about technique and more about how genuinely interested in others you are and show you are that makes the difference.

This is a problem for many sales trainers. They can teach technique, but it’s much tougher and a longer haul to develop character, inspire sympathy (and empathy), and build an genuine interest in others into people who may not have it. You can’t do that in a one-day seminar. You can’t take someone from selfishness to selflessness in an afternoon. And yet sales success (at least for those with a conscience) hinges on that feeling for others.

There’s an older sales article here that says someone needs to like you up front before you can start selling. While I agree and have always taught that notion to sales professionals, I think we even first instinctively drawn to people who seem to like us. When we sense the “like” is genuine and without agenda, we “like back”?

I know that people who are genuinely interested in me get my respect and attention. On the other hand, I don’t instantly bond with someone simply because they’re a baseball fan like me, or they grew up in the same city, or attended the same college. Relationships, even rapport, are deeper than that.

Step back for a minute and ask yourself: are you really building rapport with new prospects and customers? If you’ve recently inherited a book of accounts, your aim should be to get past the numbers and get to know the people. If you’re a hunter, you should rearrange your approach by focusing on individuals, not companies or your products and services.

Other resources: Colleen Francis article, Kevin Hogan’s article, Ron Willingham’s interview, Nebraska Cooperative Exension study on Servant Leadership, Brigham Young University distance learning on Character Education, info on the Myers-Briggs’ ENTJ type.